29 Lessons

I am 29 today. Truthfully, I am not a fan of celebrations. Not because of anything negative; I just don’t see the point in making a huge deal out of it. What I do make a huge deal out of, though, is growth.

Here are 29 lessons I have learned so far. They were hard lessons, and I want to pass them on to you.

1 - Grief is a must.

Grief in death is well known, but grieving for the parts of you that must die to be reborn into the next version of yourself… that grief is heart-wrenching, and many choose to deny themselves the pyre and stunt their potential.

2 - Choose your heart.

And allow your brain to devise the plan.

3 - If you wish to speak… speak.

Never lessen your power or presence by feeling awkward about speaking your truth. It's better to be known for who you are and what you stand for than to play to the whims of others.

4 - You have power.

You may be using it for good, or you may be using it to slowly destroy yourself, one negative thought at a time. Be careful.

5 - No one thinks the same.

We all have unique personalities built upon the structure of our past. We may think we know someone, but we always allow for misunderstandings as people begin to open up.

6 - Everyone is in some form of pain.

From mental to physical to spiritual, some can carry more, while others need support. Some are in growing pains, while others choose destructive pains.

7 - Pain does not have to rule you.

Pain can be seen as an ally, a confidante, a wise seer. It is what you make of it. Allow it to crush your soul, and it will. Allow it to teach you a new level of awareness, and it will.

8 - You can be beautiful and feel ugly.

Beauty is compassion. Beauty is the ability to love the scars as much as the soft skin. Beauty is the willingness to embrace the ALL, not the parts.

9 - You cannot change others.

You can support them, cheer them on, give them guidance, and be there for them when they need you. But they have to recognize their power; you can’t do that for them.

10 - You can have the best intentions, and some will hate you.

That is a “THEM” problem. It has nothing to do with you.

11 - Look into the eyes of an animal.

They will reflect your emotions, and they will respond to your pain.

12 - This is your story.

Right now, this is your myth, your legend… are you achieving your potential?

13 - All emotions are equal.

They are all valuable clues that can help align you.

14 - Your loved ones will resist your healing.

They will not understand until you are on the other side, and even then, they may never get it.

15 - Silence will teach you.

16 - Create a mind palace.

Create a sanctuary in your mind. This will allow you to envision your future without judgment or guilt.

17 - Believe in yourself.

Even when you do not want to believe… Believe anyways.

18 - Remember your dreams.

In sleep and waking life. They are the messengers of your subconscious.

19 - Read books.

Any that interest you. The more, the merrier. And I mean paper, not digital, not audio. Paper.

20 - Journal.

You will unlock aspects of yourself you didn't know existed. And you will have those memories to look back on with clarity.

21 - Feel your emotions. They give you power.

Cry. Scream. Laugh. Allow your body to work through them; never stuff them down.

22 - Define who you are.

Not by the words of others but by how you wish to be defined.

23 - Embrace the unknown.

With chaos comes order, and from order comes chaos. Find the cycle and use it to your advantage.

24 - Others will project their trauma onto you.

People will blame you for their pain. This is just you triggering their unhealed wounds. Allow them space and give them love.

25 - You have full control.

You have control over yourself. You choose what you put in, on, and around your body. Make sure it is things that will help you be healthy and a better version of yourself.

26 - You are wise.

Trust the small voice of hope. Even Pandora took the risk and opened the vase (it was not a box) a second time, letting ELPIS (Hope) out after all of the monsters.

27 - Find meaning.

There is a lesson in grief, pain, sadness, happiness, and anger. Find it.

28 - Grace in all things.

Grace in failure, grace in growth, in pain and heartbreak.

29 - You are not responsible for others’ feelings, thoughts or actions. Ever.

You are responsible for your feelings, thoughts, actions and words. Good or bad.