Awareness
Awareness is the beginning of all healing journeys.
You can not fix something that you don’t realize.
Awareness is the hardest step, and many cannot even get through this stage.
It usually begins with moments of extreme clarity.
Moments like:
“This isn’t who I want to be”
“Why did I eat that whole bag of chips?”
“I am unhappy.”
Awareness is when you begin to notice your patterns, behaviours, triggers, and emotions and how they relate to each other and to your past.
It involves you becoming CONSCIOUS of your SUBCONSCIOUS patterns.
An example from my own life: when I was 220+lbs, I had a habit of disassociated eating. I would use food to stuff down the emotions I refused to feel. It wasn't the eating that was the problem; it was the thoughts an hour earlier where I would call myself useless, worthless, unloved, fat, ugly and anything else horrible you could imagine. Once I became aware that when I would look in the mirror and hear the voices, I began to notice that I was my worst enemy, not my best ally.
So, instead of allowing yourself to be emotional or to do a task/habit you KNOW mindlessly is unhealthy for you… STOP, GET CURIOUS, and ASK WHY this happens. Usually, the answer is 1-3 events/triggers back. In the beginning, the process will take time, and you may struggle, but if you are consistent, slowly and surely, you can become more present and see the patterns faster.
How do you become aware?
Asking “Why” when something triggers you
Take a breath before you respond to identify how you feel
Spending time alone
Do daily check-ins with yourself
Writing down what you did that day/week
Meditation
Journalling