Finding Meaning
Life can be seen as a series of events. Most are monotonous, cyclical, and repetitive, like grocery shopping, sitting in traffic, or going to work. These can be considered low-impact events as they are assumed, given, and basic daily life. Other events are considered high-impact: they are memorable, traumatic, and/or impactful. These could be falling in love, having a child, mourning the loss of a loved one, surgery or a car accident.
We usually instil high-impact events with a heavy dose of meaning. We use these as milestones and markers for our lives: how we see the world, how we wish to act, and how others act around us. We give these events meaning and raise them to a higher importance in our memory, allowing them to control our future actions/decisions. Smaller events we almost let pass by without meaning, without focusing on how they could impact our future.
meaning
noun: significant quality especially : implication of a hidden or special significance
Another word for meaning is significance. Another word for significance is power. Everything we do impacts our lives and informs our brains of decisions we choose to make. If you are happy with your decisions and with your life, keep making the decisions that you are. If you are not—if you have memories that rise and cause you pain, if you make rash decisions that you later regret—here is something to take note of.
We create our story. We create our future.
Only we are in full control of how we wish to live. We can choose to let go of the reins and allow life to haphazardly pull us in any direction, or we can take control, direct our lives, and focus on things that give us value.
Every decision we make, to not wake up on time, to cheat on our new diet, to not go on a date-- are conscious choices that are informed by our story from the past. Whether conscious or not about the story, it will dictate how we perceive future events and try to keep us in the same comfortable place.
Our brain does not want us to leave our comfort zone.
Our brain knows our current circumstances and believes this to be safe. It will bargain and focus on keeping us in the same space it knows, so if we want to go out on our journeys, to take a chance and reach for our dreams, to take on our adventures, we need to focus on the mind and understand our meanings, our cycles and change them to benefit our future.
Failed relationships do not mean we are unworthy of future love.
Past attempts to lose 10 pounds do not mean we cannot lose it.
Being diagnosed with depression does not mean we will never be happy again.
If we wish to change our current circumstances, we must look back at our stories, find the meaning we have given them, and alter them to find a meaning that works in the direction we wish to go.
Here are some questions that can assist in finding and altering meanings from our pasts:
What memories from over six months ago come up in your thoughts, feelings, or conversations?
Why is this memory surfacing? How often does it rise? What triggers it? What is going on in your present life?
Is it positive? Or Negative?
Do you want to keep feeling this way? Why?
Will this feeling, thought or belief help you achieve your goals in life?
How do you wish to see this memory? What meaning do you want it to have?
This exercise could be as simple as writing it down on a piece of paper, choosing the new belief we wish to have, and reading it out loud every day and night, giving our brain subliminal messaging about our new beliefs. Sometimes, we need to seek professional help if we struggle with the questions and moving through them. And that is okay! Growth and beginning your journey may mean we must find guides.